When situations change, friendships may change too. If the bonds are strong, it doesn't necessarily mean the end of the friendship. ~Psychology Today, March 2012 The inspiration for this post comes just after a somewhat unofficial anniversary of our first six months in Denver. Thinking back, it seems that my mind creates reflective thoughts on these so-called anniversary times in my life. That being said, I was up late the other night with what, for me, was a rare state of insomnia, brought on by a may-never-be-identified reason. In my forced brainstorming session, I found myself focusing on friends. No one in particular but the concept of friends, friendship and how it is defined and demonstrated by others. Anais Nin put it beautifully when she said, "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." Though some natural loners are happy without them, most of us depend greatly on the company of true friends. As with any relationship, friendships bring support and joy and occasionally strife. ~Psychology Today I reflected back on my life's energy/journey and the time spent with/on friends, and, while on the surface, it may have seemed like it was self-focused, in reality, much of it was not. It was spent focusing on other people - their lives, their problems, their successes, their families, their (insert anything you can think of here). Not because I had to, but because I wanted to. And at the same time, I was giving less and less time and energy to myself...my life...my relationships, my issues, my successes. And the impact didn't come soon enough but when it did, it was very clear. And then here we are, YOU reading MY blog. This blog (unlike some) is not a place for me to ramble on about my problems or my strengths but space for me to share experiences with you, in hopes, that if you encounter yourself in the same situation or are facing the same issues, you can feel that you have an ally in it (if even mentally) and that you feel equipped to successful navigate whatever it is in the moment, whatever IT is for the best and most positive outcome possible. Whew, thinking you might be just as exhausted as I am from reading that run-on but necessary sentence of explanation. (insert brief pause and break for favorite beverage here, return back to blog once complete) Check out this interpretation of friendship in adulthood: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/friendship-20/201305/friendships-in-adulthood-needing-making-and-keeping-them. After reading the article, I discovered that, unlike stated in the first paragraph, "I realized how common it was for adults to feel like they were in need of new friendships at every turn" I wasn't as concerned about making new friends. I was most interested in keeping the ones I had! And I wasn't completely sure that was happening. Granted, I am fully aware that my joire de vivre for life can be interpreted as impatience and to give this transition some time. Either way, it took up space in my mind, thus, leading to this post. As I reviewed the draft here in front of me, it wasn't completely clear to me what my purpose for writing this post was. Yet, I knew what the purpose was NOT and I felt very clear about that. It was not to rant about how I don't talk to or see who I know as my friends because I moved (which was my choice) and it wasn't to gain sympathy or pity from anyone about it either. It was to get clear in the fact that as life changes or evolves, other things will change or evolve too due to those changes. In order to be at peace and happy with one's self, you need to do the same for those changes, be at peace. Be happy. And I finally am. Change in life may be the only constant, whether it is self-imposed or otherwise. I was ready for changes in my life. I needed the move, I needed the lifestyle changes that came with it. And it's working! I'm interested in hearing from you. Hearing your stories about changes, loss and acceptance and what you experienced. Feel free to post them in comments or send me a message directly to [email protected]. I'm happy to read every one and share it with your permission anonymously back out here in the blogosphere. Until then...
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