Many of you who know me well enough know that I book my time up to the minute, including sleep. It's a very bad habit that I've refined well over the past three years, eventually leading to almost complete burnout. Not healthy, emotional or physically. But I'm not burnt out. How? you might wonder...
The magic of downtime. I guess you could say I also plan my downtime, not always, but sometimes. And because it's so integral to my optimal mental and physica health, I protect it wisely. Just Imagine - http://youtu.be/yRhq-yO1KN8 This week I'm spending six glorious days in the beautiful mountain town of Teton Village, near Jackson Hole, WY. The scenery here is breathtaking. The vibe skiing around the mountain is positive or at least optimistic (depending on your stamina and/or ability.) Amidst all the energy, I found myself deciding to not ski today and take what I discovered was much needed downtime. What did I do exactly? Well, that's what downtime's all about. Not a lot of anything, just a little of a few things. I took a leisurely hour walk as the snow fell steadily, paying attention to and appreciating everything along the way, not worrying where I was headed or when I would be there. And it was GREAT! The Importance of Downtime http://on.aol.com/video/cali-yost-on-the-importance-of-down-time-517652834 Try it. The benefits far outweigh the risks. What do you like to do in your downtime? Pop it in a comment and I'll make a Wordle out of it!
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I love being around and with people but I'm finding some of my best time spent lately alone with my thoughts.
How often do you take time out to reflect on your day, your work, your life? Not many people do. Running allows me great reflection time as I'm finding skiing does this week. I spent most of the day today skiing alone which I'm perfectly content with and find myself in interesting conversations with others on the gondola or chair lift. Many people unhappy, scared, tired, anxious, bummed out, and so on. I ask them why and they can never seem to explain. Then they ask me and I say "I'm really happy, what a beautiful day." The response I usually get...? "Yeah, it is" followed by a smile. I've tried many times in my life to like certain things, fit in to certain groups, stay at a job just because of the pay, stay in relationships just because and I'm just truly awakened at 34 (luckily that early I think!) that it wasn't me. http://youtu.be/XKl8hDr-xm4 Along with many other great things, I'm finding I'm more of myself lately and I'm looking forward to much more of it. I hope you do too, if you haven't already. My muse today was brought to you by my morning skiing partner Joe. At 77, Joe self-handedly reversed his pre-diabetic diagnosis three years ago by becoming a vegan. No medication, no doctors visits, no nothing. All just by personal willpower (which he said was a little challenging as he did it cold turkey) but he also said at his age he still feels great every morning he wakes up, ready to take on whatever the new day brings. It was also funny that Joe was dressed and ready to ski this morning, waiting for me at the front door so we could catch the first lift of the day. He heard the untouched groomed runs were amazing first thing in the morning. As we headed down the run (he in the lead) I saw him raise his poles, look up at me and shout "I think I've died and gone to heaven!" And then proceeded to beat me to the chairlift. I've only lived what I believe to be a third of my life but haven't really felt like I've "lived" until the past eight months.
Major life changes really do something to a person and you never know how you'll be until the moment it happens, no matter how much you plan or think you're ready, or not ready. I talk with so many people who speak kindly of their current jobs but only to the extent that it pays them enough to allow them a car, a house, an annual vacation, provisions for their family, but that they are working hard to save up for retirement when as they say "they can finally enjoy life." I met a man today on my first day skiing in Jackson Hole, his name was Barry but he said everyone just called him "Bear". He's retired but drives the shuttle from the ski resort base to the condos where we're staying. Bear is in his upper 70's and said he hasn't stopped moving since the day he was born. He was an engineer, a big game hunting guide and several other things in his time and now this; and he loves every minute of what he does no matter what it is. He said, "You don't have to call it work when you love what you do." Thanks Bear! You had more of an impact on my day and my life than you will ever know. I think you should enjoy life now; in the moment, every moment, all the time. I'm not saying life won't throw you curve balls (trust me, I've had plenty of my own) but why not enjoy every moment as you have the opportunity to do so. And then take that opportunity. And the best part? It's free! And we know much in life is not. http://youtu.be/fLJsdqxnZb0 I've made the choice. You can too. Sometimes I find the lines between my personal and professional life becoming more blurred. And I'm okay with that. I'm not a workaholic, never have been, never will be...until I considered my legacy.
What and how do I want to remembered? Saying I would call and I didn't. Saying we would get together and then don't. Saying we'll keep in touch and then... Saying I'd get to it, I promise but then make excuses, do other things or take no action at all. My response - a flat out NO!! My muse for this post came from an article titled "What Will Be Your Legacy?" By Robin Scott, part of Daily Good: News That Inspires. Words to Live by as You Search to Find, Define and Live Your Legacy (as I'm now for mine):
"People don't do things to you, they do them for themselves."
Once you can adopt this tiny but important piece of wisdom, you may look at your interactions with others through a completely different lense. Realizing what you have control of in any situation and then taking appropriate action on it at the right time AND the right way is the key to increasing the success of your interactions with others - both personally and professionally. How many people wake up in the morning hoping to irritate or upset people? Truly...not many... Think about your impact vs. your intention...think about the other person's impact vs. intention... Where might you have gaps in understanding and impact? Here's a quick and easy watch that serves as a good reminder, feel free to share! http://youtu.be/N6TgO2RupGE One of the building blocks of skillful use of Emotional Intelligence is the Emotional Management of one's self.
For many it's easier said than done. Here's a way for you to manage your emotions smarter in the moment. Stop - pause before reacting, create a pattern interrupt from what would be an inuitive reaction (not always the best reaction though!) Oxygenate - rest and digest what just happened instead of "fight or flight". Taking a deep breath or lengthening your breath at that moment can have more of a positive impact on how you react than you may realize Strengthen Appreciation - it's true that the brain cannot experience fear and gratitude at the same time. Gratitude release counter chemistry and using humor can help gain perspective. This is the case in many situations where people use humor to break an awkward moment or tense mood. Seek Information - seek first from self and then from others; seek first to understand and only after that to be understood. If someone feels a threat or perceived threat, reflect on the Rule of 6. Is the threat big or small? Will it matter in... ...6 months ...6 weeks ...6 days ...6 hours ...6 minutes or ...6 seconds Kind of puts it into perspective, doesn't it? Www.ihhp.org So we're in agreement...now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's just enjoy our time together!
Have you ever "dropped your markers" or has someone ever "moved your cheese"? If so, you may have experienced a degree of an amygdala hijack.
Check out these resources to learn more and see if your perception of the situation was accurate: What is an amygdala hijack/what causes it? http://m.psychologytoday.com/files/attachments/51483/handling-the-hijack.pdf Daniel Goleman explains... http://youtu.be/LTItzKrNX68 So, what did you find out...? Curious yet? This week I'm in the cosmopolitan whereabouts of Toronto to earn my Emotional Intelligence Accreditation from IHHP. I'm excited that I get to put an official certification around a concept I feel that I've been practicing and refining my entire life (well, for at least 34 years of it...)
My session is taking place in the same hotel that I'm staying at (intentionally as it's been 5 degrees Fahrenheit here the past few days) I'm interested to see how spending 84 almost consecutive hours in the same space affects my EI... Until then...have your hand at gauging your EI here: http://www.ihhp.com/?page=freeEQquiz |
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